Clyde the Mountain Lion just made history as the first ever mountain lion in space. 

Students gathered last Friday night to watch the Roarbit Rocket carry their beloved mascot beyond the clouds for a whopping 11 minutes. Sophia Copenhagen of The Scribe was live on the scene and collected a few words from the self-proclaimed astronaut himself.  

In the livestream from inside the rocket, Clyde could be seen waving a columbine flower and staring intimately into its petals. When asked what was so special about the flower, he said, “Well, everyone knows the columbine is a resilient flower that represents our state. But what people may not know is that Columbine Hall is also where I first learned to aim for the stars.” 

UCCS has proposed a tuition increase in order to cover the $150,000 seat fee required by Roarbit Rocket. This would hypothetically cost students an additional $12,000 per semester.  

“Unfortunately, we have to shoot your tuition to the moon as well,” Chancellor Sennifer Jobanet said prior to the launch. 

Students also face an increase in the cost of tickets, laundry and other services that were previously free. Due to Clyde’s lunar excursion, the services will now include an “Orbital” surcharge. 

Some say the rocket resembled a plastic bag, drifting through the wind as it exited our atmosphere. For Clyde, it was much more than that. “The experience was priceless. Nothing grounds you quite like seeing your planet from 65 miles above it. I felt super connected to love,” he said with tears in his eyes. 

Jobanet was unavailable for comment after Clyde’s mission due to an injury sustained on the scene. According to witnesses, she faceplanted as she circled Clyde’s rocket after it touched down in the University Center parking lot. She is currently recovering at the Wellness Center. 

In addition to his book about being kidnapped, Clyde plans to also publish a memoir recounting the experience. He is in close contact with film students to produce a biopic.  

Clyde in space. Art by Audrey Cavazos.